As the dust settled from the COVID-19 Global Pandemic, we quickly saw a spike in anxiety and depression among the world’s youth. The Center for Disease Control surveyed over 200,000 students from 20 states in the 2021 Adolescent Behaviors and Experiences Survey (ABES). The participants revealed that anxiety in school and depression are the most significant barriers to learning for high school and middle school students. 

You are not alone if your child refuses to go to school or complains of chronic stomach pain only on school mornings.

School anxiety (also called School Phobia or School Refusal) is when a person focuses on fears around or related to attending school.  The DSM V does not list School Anxiety as a classification. Still, it specifies that a person with Generalized Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia could react adversely to the school setting.

Adolescents very often manifest their anxiety in school. 

Most often, the affected child would have had symptoms of anxiety previous to their onset of school-specific symptoms. Perhaps since they were young, they had over-emotional reactions to thunderstorms or loud environments. They could have exhibited separation anxiety when first starting preschool. All of these indicate that anxiety has always been a part of their temperament, but now, in their adolescence, it manifests as a fear of school.  

Seek a professional evaluation by a licensed mental health professional if your child is showing any of these signs of anxiety in school: 

Signs of School Phobia: 

• Refusing to go to school
• Complaining of somatic symptoms like stomach pain and headaches the night before or the morning of school.
• Frequently visiting the nurse at school without apparent vomiting or fever symptoms.
• Panic attacks
• *symptoms do not exist on breaks from school such as weekends, holidays, or summer.

The challenge for parents in understanding School Phobia is that children sometimes do not show symptoms in other social settings. They may enjoy going to their best friend’s house or are comfortable going to the store. However, when anxiety is specific to the school setting, many people assume that the child is “faking” or trying to avoid the responsibility of attending school.  

It is helpful to remember that the school setting is unique for children. It poses risks to specific social anxieties where they must appear in front of their peers and cope with their teachers’ expectations. 

Before you pull your child out of school and put them on an online or homeschooling program, some interventions can help get them back into the school building and cope with their anxiety in school.

Suggested Interventions:  

Ask for help from the School Support Personnel:

Most schools have counselors, psychologists, and social workers experienced in helping children cope with school anxiety. While I also recommend private therapy (see below), including the school counseling staff, is essential because this is their expertise. Additionally, a trusted person at the school who can build rapport with your child is transitional. Your child can transition from the comfort of your presence to this trusted individual within the school setting and feel supported. 

Get Feedback from your child’s teachers:

It may seem simple advice, but parents often need to be more open to contacting teachers. The version of your child that the teachers interact with in their classroom differs from the version you see at home. They have a unique and incredibly important relationship with your child concerning how your child functions at school. A quick email asking for clarification on what behavior they see from your child could paint the picture of your child’s anxiety in school.  

Modify classes or schedule:

Even small changes can have a significant impact. Talk to your child about what could make them more comfortable at school. Do they have friends during their lunch period? Is a particular class giving them anxiety, and can it be moved or changed? Getting specific about the biggest trigger or source of fear in their day may make it easier to modify and alleviate a large amount of stress. 

Private therapy:

Anxiety is a widespread and manageable situation in many forms. A silver lining to the dark cloud of anxiety is that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is often very successful in helping people cope with and change their negative thinking patterns. The hard truth is that while school may be the focus of their anxiety today, we carry it with us through life and can generalize it to other settings. Doing the work and learning coping mechanisms can help your child live a healthier and happier life. 

If you’re open to therapy, read our post on How to Find the Best Child Therapist.

Consider medication:

Many natural remedies to lower anxiety are worth consideration. Regular exercise, meditation, and breathing exercises are helpful tools. However, when in crisis, i.e., the inability to function with daily activities, medication can give the person relief from paralyzing anxiety so that they can focus on making changes. Medication can take the edge off of anxiety so that the person can improve.  

Find an outlet:

What are their passions? What have they always loved to do as a young child? Something creative or athletic that they have a strong desire to do. If it involves the school, that’s great, but even if it just gets them into a new social setting, that can also be beneficial. 

The School-to-Home connection is vital in helping your child through this challenging time. Reach out to the School Counselor, Social Worker, or Psychologist, as well as the teachers and administration. It doesn’t matter who your point of contact is as long as they are willing to work with you and help your child through the situation. Coping with anxiety means that minor improvements are major accomplishments. Remember to be patient with the process and love your child by supporting and encouraging them. 

Please share your story about anxiety in the comments below or add any tips for coping with anxiety in school.

Get more help by downloading our guides:

~Steps to Overcoming a Personal Crisis

~Tools and Tips for Keeping Your Kids Safe Online

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