There is an alarming trend in online scams that parents must be prepared for. It’s called Sextortion, and your children could be at risk.  As the name implies, the scam is done by coercing unsuspecting victims into sending illicit pictures and videos and then extorting money from them with the threat of exposure. This article will teach you how to protect your children from these online predators. We will show you what to look out for and which proactive measures to take.

Sextortion: What is it?

It starts with a simple conversation in an online chat.  The contact could be initiated in a game like Roblox or Fortnite or a chatroom such as Discord. The user may contact your child through social media direct messages in TikTok, Instagram or even get their Snapchat name and message them. 

The scammer will sound just like a child, using the same slang as kids or teens and discussing similar interests. They are priming and grooming your child through this conversation and building trust.  They can even send pics of themselves, likely just pictures they found on the internet of real kids. From behind a computer or phone, it is nearly impossible for your child to know this is an adult and an untrustworthy person. 

Once the scammer has gained your child or teen’s trust, they will ask for pictures of them, encouraging them to be sexy or inappropriate. Once the scammer has received illicit content from your child, they will threaten to publish or share it unless given a sum of money.

What to do if you or your child is facing sextortion:

First, cut off all contact with the extortioner. Illicit pictures are rarely posted to social media because companies do not allow that type of content on their sites. The predators care only about the money so, do not give it to them.  Report and block them and any account they have used to contact you. If any content is released, posted, sent or exchanged, file a police report for harassment. 

Be proactive: How to prevent online predators from accessing your kids.

Parenting in this digital age means learning the technological skills and tools you can use to keep your children safe.  Our parents taught us not to speak to strangers and to check our Halloween candy before we ate it.  Today, we have to teach the same principles in a digital world.  The good news?  There are good people, like those at MMGuardian, who are using software engineering to protect our kids from online predators. 

Get help protecting your child from online predators with Bark. This app will monitor your child’s online activity and alert you to any signs of trouble.

Here are the most important and basic rules to use with your kids in any online format:

NEVER chat, text, or engage in any way with someone you have not met IRL (in real life!).

This one is hard but, I put it at number 1 because it is the most essential rule that if followed, negates the need for any other rules.  Our kids may not always follow this and I’ve allowed a friend-of-a-friend type of conversation to go on before. For example, Susie’s best friend has a cousin of the same age.  Susie may not have met the cousin in person but the best friend has verified that this account is her cousin’s and regularly chats them. 

NEVER send inappropriate pictures, videos or messages of yourself (or of anyone else) through an app or via text or chat. 

This is a hard “no”.  Even if you don’t know the people in the inappropriate video, you can be charged with sharing sexually explicit material, especially if it involves a minor.  Talk to your child about what inappropriate material is (which should include racist, bullying, threatening, harassing or sexually inappropriate content).  Talk to your child about why they should not send it, pass it along or even engage in any messages like that.  Make sure they know the consequences before they are allowed to use social media and online games. 

Always tell a parent or guardian if someone makes you feel uncomfortable online.

You need to have a conversation with your child and teen that there are people in this world who cannot be trusted.  Teach them that people will try to get them to send inappropriate pictures (whether that is a stranger or even a boy or girl at school).  Your child must know they can come to you because you have already had this conversation before they even encountered this problem.  Teens don’t often tell their parents about suspicious or uncomfortable behavior they experience online.  Keep the communication open with your child so they know they can come to you without fear of punishment or judgment. 

Use Your Resources:

The best part about parenting in the digital age (besides saving thousands of videos and pictures of your kids on your phone) is the tools available to help parents safeguard their children.  Today, there are apps and even entire phones are dedicated to monitoring your child’s online life. 

Bark developed a phone that has its protective software built in.  The Bark phone will block inappropriate content and alert you of any suspicious behavior. They use a customized Samsung phone controlled by a parent app you keep on your phone.  You set the controls and can customize to protect your child while giving certain freedoms you deem appropriate. This phone helps your child to stay in touch with their friends while giving parents the peace of mind that they are safeguarding their child’s innocence and identity. 

Sextortion is another scary and alarming danger in the digital world.  From cyberbullying, sexual predators, and identity theft, there are real threats our children and teens need to learn about and be protected from.  As parents, we must educate ourselves, inform and protect our children, and use whatever resources are available to combat these threats. Talk to your children about the appropriate use of technology.  Tell them about the dangers of online communication, using age appropriate language they can understand. Lastly, encourage your child to come to you with any uncomfortable or inappropriate content.  With well-informed, supportive parents, teens and children can enjoy the benefits of the online universe by connecting with friends and playing games online.